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Fun Catch Ups
Fun Catch Ups

Episode · 1 year ago

The Auctioneer

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

This week we talk about auctioneers. What if Capper went back to his regional roots and started auctioning off farm machinery? What if you didn't listen to this podcast? Would you ever be creative again?  Jack brings some fresh ideas to the table and Capper does a new comic strip there are also two aquarium stories Join the facebook group here https://www.facebook.com/groups/973969866354562/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I their podcast fans. Do you lookfriendships, but also humor? Well, you've come to the right place, it'stime for fun, Tattas, that's right: Fun Catches, Oh yeah, fun, eons and were often racing bank thanksstraight into it. I kept her in the lead because I'm commentating I can bein the lead. I put myself in the lead. I on a poast yeah, like a podcast rifode telling who waswinning the podcast at any given point. It's like super aggressive, like yeahKafiristan straight out of the gate, he's beaten Druse to the rift. have usup to the three weeks in a row. Rusas got a really rally to pull this oneback he's doing this race called gag. Something Bruce is totally unfamiliarwith it. It does a renshaws drove past the billboard for the Depo dogs backwhen he lived in Jeringham, but that seems to go a laugh from some racingfans, but he doesn't know if it wouldn't be able to answer any followup. Questions about the DEPO dogs. Yeah yeah maybe thinks cabirs an auctioneernow, but, as we can all agree, a es, oones aren't hilarious and has Jackdres ever been to an action? Have you ever been on an auction? No, I wouldlove to, though that sounds like a lot of fun, be very high stakes. Yeah Ya mean I remember I had to theyused to have farm auctions. If people sold their farm, they would go. I they would just get one guy to walkaround to each bit of machinery and he just go all right. A Tan Hat Tanhad it at ten all right. We got fifteen over here, O River got twenty over here,and the guy would just be an auctioneer. He would just do that. What that that was one of his kind oftechniques was his voice. I should look into this. I was I was just going to say. Like doyou think you could be with your experience on the stage right, I'mgoing to be realistic here, I D N T. I don't think you could make it like toplevel like expensive art or jewels or whatever level auctioneering. But ifyou went back to the country on like tractors and equipment and silos orwhatever Decan, you could parlay your your experience on thestage into some rural Actione Ring Man Yeah. If I could do that every day,but I've got a feeling as a fair bit of paperwork involved, I got good afeeling. I got a feeling, that's just one of thetraits, the voice, you think they get. You know you think it's a whole packagejob. You can't just be a star Yeah. I just want to be the star. Iwant to get on this stage. Do My thing you know, but I would like that man weshould make a bibikoff the best octane in Australia. Yes got like a coat andstuff, and you know they give him a whiskey. S got like a writer and stufflike that. Like he's the best in the bees yeah, but it's one of those like real show bis. Cliches is like it allseemed amazing, but then, of course there was a dark side and it's like himcompletely, like yeah cooked out of his mind as like a success got to his head,but his level of success is that he he sold six tractors in a month, yeah evenhis practice. He just got a commission. It's going to go it's like a long,Panama Hat. You know, and he goes like hey you barry. How would you like toAction? EER children he's like no, no is guy get so much money. So much moneyvary. You can pay off. That house he's grandmother's. His grandmother's dying.He's like you can afford more medicine, but your grandma and a NAT's home. It'slike! No! No, I don't know what accent this is yeah, but it's a bad guy,actuals generic ominous evil, Guy...

Accent, yeah yeah a dark moment or isstaring him. S is looking at himself move in a cracked mirror for a longtime. Yeahs up the phone he's like hey. It's Barry. It's that child auctioningjob still still available the guys, a Fuco call and then just when he's aboutto get on. He sees like a child. Look at him like his own child, go no matterwhat you do dad I'll be proud of you and then and then he pulls out amachine gun and kills them all yeah Er. Normally he has he's like. Oh sorry,let me he picks up a case that he normally keeps his gavel in that hebangs the gavel when he has a soul and he's like and then he says, going goingGod and then pression explodes. He picks up his gavel and then puts theNIB of it between his teeth and pulls out a pin and the Osit into the into the ground. That would be such a good like, like, B Grade Nis action movie likejust called the auctioneer, is, through the whole the whole saga. Getting it man, that'sit. I engineering it be such a such a journey. It's a yeah! It's a great!It's a great little sketch. You know one of us could do or something where yeah it's at the auctioneer. It's a bitof a trailer yeah like had twenty two twenty two on this track to a Ri. Nowhe was the best, a twenty three who wants to all Batatabe good for the cattle we could ha fay, the cattle that Tom we got. Thirtythirty do so. Who was so? I was up about to what are we thinking? He wasthe best auctioneer and gunned. Then things took a turn for the worst and they give him kind of not not bigdrugs. You know just Mars like he is like to try cocaine, Berry he's like he just has a little likelikit once he goes now not for me boks. Thank you. I'm Findon, the bunny amsteg spiraledout of control. I bought a point out at the servicestation, was crazy. It's like em driving just driving allthrough the night to get to different different farm auctions, but he's got a.He gets addicted to like deck Empeda or something just to make the long drivesa God. Damn it Barry. You were the best,but now you having too many monster energy drinks on that truck stops.Those things will kill. You it'll kill you. He could sell anything except hisown soul, yeah man, the auctioneer that is great sie,just a total subplot at the end, like there's, absolutely no foreshadowing ofa military background, yeah except except for when he throws the gavelinto the audience, then operates to high powered machine guns and flies amilitary Apache helicopter out of there. I it's up with his his old boys fromVietnam, who again here's no reference that he's ever being for or anything,but then it's like a guy like a huge guy with mame switch blade, jumps outof the helicopters yessor of a pitch. I thought you were dead. It is like think,I'd miss out on this auction. Did you to s brother and then, in the end, whenhe has the when he saves a kid he's like...

...kids, we got to wait here, while yourparents come to pick you up, but in that tone, why don't? I show you somelessons on how to break dance. They just have a mad break dancing,sish credits, clothes and he's just spinning on his head spitting on hishead over the credits. There's a rap song he is performing about what hadthe events of the film is getting every every nine is action comedy beat Yeah Yeah. First, I was an auctioneer, Ithought fame and fortune was near, but now I'm in the clear, because I'm theoxen e the tryon killed, get me out of here. Oh Man, I I watched like a good nines actionmovie, the other. I can't remember what it was called. Maybe maybe you've seenit, but it was like just one of those ones that was all ona on an aeroplane and they have to Parisget hold of this airplane. I had like John Leg Azam and Ali Berry in it allright. It was so good, but it was like that. Just that vintage thing where, like youwere talking about with the foreshadowing like there's no subtletyin the script like at the beginning of it, the main character is his takingflying lessons and the pilots, like hey you're, getting pretty good. I thinkyou're ready to handle it all by yourself and he's like. I don't knowabout that. I don't know if I'm comfortable flying by myself yet andhe's like Ye me, you can do it just fly the plane he's like, oh I'm, not sure,and then before he does it like the please pull up or something and they'relike captain. We need you at the White House right now and then he goes andgets briefed on the this terrorism thing, and then they fly him up in afighter jet like that scoops up underneath the plane and like they puta little tunnel that goes into the plate and him and all these likecommanders crawl into the plane, and it was like. I was just saying to the guysthat watching it with is like do you think, there's any way him beingnervous about flying a plane and now he's on a plane full of terrorists,there's no way that could come back into it. Is there that couldn't thatcouldn't possibly be you know it's the most obvious thing anyonecould think of yeah yeah and then of course, it's like right at the end, theterrorist kills the pilot and it's like God, Damn it there's, no one that canfly the plane and then it's like look. The Voice of his pilot instructor islike it's easy. You know focus on the landing he's it in he's like yes, Icould do it. It was so good that is excellent man. I love that it's so weird, because could we make afilm something with the weirdest type of fore shadowing ever yeah? What is the oddest type offoreshadow? You can do like someone's going to decorate the top of a cake and yeah. I do it right and then, inthe end he has to decorate a cake to save his life or it's like yeah. It starts off with aflash back when they're a kid or something. It's like it's grandfather's,like listen to me bobby, remember when you're on a submarine m.If you get greased up enough, you can alwaysscoot out the torpedo, hatch yeah, it's like you're, crazy, grandad and then thirty years later, Ahe just gets nudeand then greased up yeah and then just slides out of this thing nude. But hedoesn't like way too early, like you still danger of any kind that he's fully nudefully greased up and he's like where's the torpedo, hatch yeah. This is acivilian. This is a research submarine this no to pedos. He has to do the dramatic, ending nudeshooting people yea like killing guards like putting him in a head like andbreaking him and he's just fully knew the whole time. If there's like there'sall this, this continuity mishap where he got like...

...he was like really aroused for a few ofthe texts, but not all the the keep cutting between is like this rock hardand some of them different anilines, completely flashes. One with is just asmall square of toilet paper, just stuck to his butt like a real just acorner of it. Just stuck there a just because the person in continuitydidn't have a heart to tell him that he was either on a bone or there wassomething stuck to his but yeah, and I remember one time I don't knowyou and I might have talked about this was when I was in Gundo windy back outat home. My Mate had bought this counter called bars and Babes. Oh Yes, yeah it was peg hunters, girlfriendsand the girlfriend would pose in underwear next to the dead pig thatwas killed was was it was Boson Babes and wasthere another one as well yeah something something in grunters yeahexpect with grunted unto Hunter. GRUNTER hunter was a big one, but Ithink yeah something like that. grunted Y, a t s so good, but I think Iremember till the two photos I remember for the rest of my life is one: was the girl posing and underwearnext to the dead peak? Then there was a car in the background and I had all ofher clothes sitting on top of the car yeah, which was just great just graying, is just so good and the other one was a girl lying downon the grass. But it was like you know, legem, which is that tough kind ofoutback grass that yellow kind of thick grass, I really prickly yeah and she was lying down on it andjust one of the strands of grass was poking into her boob like yeah just poking into it, and it was quite noticeable, butwhoever was taking. These photos did did not couldn't say, there's a bit ofg like they were both that'll do photos yeah, like that all to like I was just trying to picture theart director or something trying to. I don't know. If go HEY, look! Don'tworry about the you know, cameras like. Should we mention the grass room on?Don't worry about, don't worry about it! It's fine! It's woman posing next to apig. It can't get any sexe than that yeah all in those like yeah, I've just goneto the bars and Babes face book page. I just found it there. Oh yes, it's pretty! Yes, they're doingman, you'd love it because it's like I'm sure, bring back a lot of childhoodnostalgia but they've also. You know they know about memes and stuff nowyeah. So there's like a one where it's like a bunch of kids fighting and theall the over all the kids. That's like covertpolitics riots and then there's another. It's like me and it's just a guy in hisphone, but then they've superimposed over his phone. Just like a picture ofsomeone hunting bulls great, he fully updated. I feel likethey might have done a bit more bit more p C. maybe like there's not reallyyeah, there's not a! I mean, don't get me wrong. These are absolute stunningBabes posing with these bars, but they seem like they seem like they're, the ones,hunting, the bars and they're, not they're, not in underwear or anythingthey're, just attractive women who happen to be passionate bar hunters.How time it changed man when bors when balls and Babes goes,you know when they go a bit work that shows that we that shows progress yeah, I mean even mame culture comingin there is that's a huge turn. That's...

...a big turn. I do think it's very funny, like I don't know if we've talked about thisbefore but like people who it's like, you want to look at stuff.That's it's like sexy to you right. You want to look at sexy stuff, but thenit's like people trying to combine stuff. They find sexy with justwhatever their hobbies are yeah such an odd thing like people who are like. OhYeah, yeah, love, love looking at a girl in a bikini, but I got it. I alsolike hunting bore so yeah to really enjoy this picture. I need evidence that a bar has been hunted andalso an attractive woman in the same shot. Yeah Yeah Man, yeah. That'sexactly that is so funny. It's like the entry level thing like it's someonegoing hey. I want to get into looking at womenobjectively yeah. How do I get into this? All right, well, I'm into peaks a witehunting pigs if there was only a magazine dicated for both of thesethings, yeah, it's so so weird as well, because it'sonly with these to like motor bikes as well as a big thing like we know womenposing over motor bikes or next to cars. It's kind of these neanderthal type,hmm kind of hobbies that have like hot women have have to be adorned on them.What's a hobby where you don't really have that? Like I don't know, mountainbiking seems a bit left wing. If you saw like an attractive woman next to amountain bike, it would seem a bit out of place, maybe yeah, I think it's like,but it kind of bees there. However, you go like I think, with instar and stufflike because I like, I follow a lot of like professional runners and stuff oninstar. Are you used to and but then I think, because whenever I goon that like discover thing and Instar, it's like you get all these sexy,bikini, girls and stuff, but they're all like some of them have runningshoes on or they're, like O ye still wearing like a d string and stuff, butthey just out on a run, and it's like running a something. Oh well. I could watch this marathonfor hours yeah. I know what I mean all right. I could be turned on by thisas long as she's done at least ten k before the font, yeah yeah yeah. Howgood are e splits but Y, you know yeah, I don't know yeah. What's what would beanother hobby that would be weird to have a woman in a bikini a dawned over.It may be like I guess you and I do bouldering, which is very it's very gt kind ofthing. It's very like it's all about nature, very left wing yeah, if you just what? If what? If weplayed a prank on the bouldering community that we like pay, the heap of models to be inbikinis in like climbing shoes clip- and we just put it in the bouldering-face book groups of Melbourne, just going hey guys, release this coolmagazine. It's got all the hottest Babes climbing in the best climbinggear. That would be an absolute bomb file like that would be the best trialyou could ever do yeah. I think it it could either be a great troll or itcould just be like just like a no one would think it was that weird,because it's still kind of fits into sports. I guess so it's like. We justhave to run this terrible magazine for a while. What I I and it catches on it, catchesall these things and a robolds it just all these browsgoing there going yeah fuck, so many hot chicks, hang out or balling it sick.It's so good yeah! No, no, our trollis pay and then yeah we'reband from all the good bouldering Gims,...

...and we just have to hang out with browsyeah. We just end up running a bouldering gym that sells Jim Bamanacan yeah and we're just playing rat meddle allthe time in it. Just live biscuit just fucking pumped a because you do an Ado. This, like love,rock climbing, but sick of all. This woke lefty bullshit Leah come to pigs. Climbing Gin was it like:Try Tink, that's a good name: ANTIC ROCK CLIMBING! You can see what I d youwant: You're just driving one of those hugetwin cab, pickups like you, can barely get in it or driveit, and people like Jack. This, isn't your character like why you go justlike. I guess I've just have to do this. Now that I run this type of play, so there's no other car. I can drive itphysically. Can't I build a I build. A UF of Tegan with climbing hall climbingholds all along the outside of it. So it's like cage fighting a people, kindof traversing, all the holds around the outside flight client, yeah man yeah. So man, we haven't even saidthe Tolet podcast yet, which is fun. Catops have fun catch up. This has beenlook, it's been very fun so far yeah. But what have you been up to this weekor what what's have you got any ideas you want to bring the table anyoneanything you want to tell me wetmores yeah. I killed a guy when I was younger, but I I you that yeah, I tell a lot ofpeople. That's really trying to get caught, but yeah I have a the O, a! U Yak. Yes, it's like all those serial killerssecretly want to get caught, but even they just can't no matter what they dois telling anyone hungry Jack, no subtlety to it, not like leaving hiddenclues like I did it arrest me yeah, I don't know. I think it's been.It's been weird because I feel like there's. You know it's because we're in like thesecond lock down in Melbourne right now, yes and first lock down. I was all about likeno work on stand up all about stand up, take this time to reassertion and grow,and then I come back firing on all cylinders and now I'm like I don't knowwhen stand ups coming back. So time to maybe focus on some other stuff, so Ihaven't been really writing as much, but I've been trying to make somevideos of stand up ideas. I've had in the past and that's been, that's beenreally good, because I think that's what I have needed to do for a longtime anyway, get more stuff out there on line, and now it's like it's likethe government has forced me to make more online content. It's like it'sjust been legislated in that it's like. I was kind of what I wanted to doanyway, and now it's just the law it's like. If you want to be, he got to makea video, it's so funny man, because there's likethis weird thing, this we divide, I haven't really. I guess it's been aweird divide, because also some yout tubes are just terrible, but as a rule,comedians do not jell with the yout Comedians atwell. Yeah, you got to make it on the stage or whatever, but boy have thetables turned yeah man. I am seeing some people that were definitely notyou tube puck type of people and would clearly criticize them a lot, and now they are,they have rolled over three sixty yeah. They are putting all types of contentonline me included me included, yeah. I think it's a matter of how you do itlike. I, because I think I I think, I'm like all right. I've put A.I put my life into getting good at...

...stand up. I should be able to translatethose skills in there, but I think there's people kind of go like allright, I'm a yout in now. So I guess I got to do what you tubes do and thenit's like you know the videos is like wags versus fisherman or something youknow just like pumping out exactly the same doc. Shit like, I think you stillgot a still gonna be able to have your own spin on it things you don't hearduring this situation. Yeah Yeah Man Yeah, that is that is so tough.I A recorder a video today and now it's going to go it's about Francis Bacon's influences on Batman.Oh great, so I don't know how it's going to go. I yeah, but my my housemate Nicko'sfilmed at so we're excited about it but yeah. I do it felt great to do it, butit's also feels weird not to do something where you like. The wholething is going to be funny. Everything's going to be funny. Youknow you almost want to. I almost wanted to run in and tell him before.He edited it like make sure this, like this fucked camer angle or you zooming,on this well way too long. So it's bucked, you know yeah he's like now.People actually want to listen to the story like don't don't screw aroundwith it too much. Absolutely it's like well, so you forget how you forget your capacity to just. Ithink it's a problem. Comedian t have it's like. I think, any time I have to do publicspeaking, that isn't comedy people are like. Oh you'll, be good because ofcomedy, and I kind of feel like no I'll be really bad because I'll just befeeling like I m bombing the whole time like any time. I get to do like aspeech or introduce someone or talk in an event. It's just like I'm doing avery normal speech, but in my head I'm like I'm getting no laughs. I can'thave the separation to be like yeah, it's a funeral. What are you doing likeyou? Don't need to be get yeah you're into you're, introducing a speaker at aconference that you're helping your mom were at like this isn't an issue but yeah yeah. No, I think you're right isweird like it's with not having the instant feedback of getting that,because I think when you do it live and the audience laughs. It's you know it'slaughter, but it's also like little thumbs up is like hey. We're stilllistening, keep going also unless it goes viral. It neverreally has that feeling like a released videos before and it if it doesn't getthat like bang. You know that real just people sharing it left, rot and center.It doesn't get that satisfaction and that's the one thing you got to realizewith online. Is You just got to keep going until something hits yeah or slowly build over a couple ofyears, and then you before you know it? You have a great audience but yeah Ilike is this a head? Is this not a hit, and why doing anything right, you don'tknow yeah, it's scary, to commit to a slowburn like that MMMMM, like I'm rolling backwards through the balls and BabesAustralia page, and I e sure that sure they crushing it now. But you know inthe early days there was a like rise. Hadn't found their voice,yet the clothes were on the car boy. Am I absolutely dumbfounded, I'm I feelsick. I can't believe it. I should have got in there at department, early men so funny me, because they stillneed graphic designers. They need people to work in that magazine,Department Pepillo all right. What do I put the boar with the woman on theBikini at the top left corner of the page? What Font should I use here whenI like grunt her? It's got like the guy in the board roomgoing all right. So it's been ten years...

...of bars and Babes for this one. Ithought we could use this paper stock. We could do a gold printing on thefront we've got. I don't know this Spanish artist todraw a ball with a babe, the whole thing's going to go crazyI'sooth. They had like the prestige of like a Time magazinelike it was all. You know that Time magazine has the person of the year andit's a big global event who the person of the year is. If it was like he borsand Babes granter of the year was like global news who wins every year. Theyput out this special hard back edition yeah, it's the the size of the GRUNTER,but also the the woman has to be attractive or you know, have a represent some kind of global cause. o Man, that's that's what a bad sketchis. They try to make bars and Babes woke,so they have like the biggest Tofu bar. You can build and it's it's the it's. What no no fatshaming or anything like that, so it has to be the most kind of bodyconscious non body, conscious type of woman. Next to a huge type new hugeTofu, ball yeah, then I this becass great photo. I found on it of a someone's, killed a boar, but thenthey've propped it up and they're they're pouring two cans of of for exgold into its mouth. But I feel like that's one of the very earliest postson it like it's from years ago, so they can see the gradual, like getting moreand more progressive as time has passed, but yeah what if they havee bars butlike yeah, they try to make it more woke by, like they carve black livesmatter or something into the side of the bar, just a big pace on just something that that reallybenefits. No one like one of those someone could tell it some crazy personin marketing thinks this is a good idea. Just like this is not. This is not helping any course how manykind man that's yeah. I've got to write thatone down. I got to do something like that, like boys and Babes. You thinkthat we don't care about the world. Well, look at these pictures. The bors and Babes work addition it'stwo thousand and twenty and with the world's changed and so have we borbas fresh new look, Yeah R, Oh ah, that's great yeah, it's so weirdman, because I was trying to think of videos and things like that to to do. I thought us in the first coupleepisodes this. We talked about Comic Strips, Oh yeah, so comic strips. So I just thought Iwould share some comic strips with you that you might. You might be able to help me with,because you do help me with some. So it's got two men walking into a shopping center. One of the one of the men says: She's left you have to forget about her. Maybe a bit of retail therapy can help and then the other man says I can try,but not even the best shop in the world could fill the space she left in myheart when the other man says, I think,you're wrong about that, and then it says and then it's going to it shows ashop...

...and the shop has a sign that says:Steve's, sword and nun, chops, no nun, Chuck Shop. Also a pornography emporiumand sells convertibles. Is that and then I was thinking, maybe it would zoom back to the guy,and I would he would say I forgot about this gal already or something like that.Yeah later Babe, or something like that, Idon't know- or maybe he walks in and then it's like. He got divorced and losthalf his money in the divorce and he can't can't buy any NUMB chucks yeah. And how am I going to buy Numb chucksnow? But what? What? If the final panel ishim in a convertible holding a Samurai Sword in one hand and Numb chucks onthe other, but then there's still still like a single tear is going down hiseye like man. That is great. That is so good yeah experiment with those yeah yeahthat sauce panel would be so good. Yeah be good to get the last panel. Oh yeah,that is really good man. That would make it a four panel, which is GreatYeah Yeah. That's really good! I love that.I love. I love the humor in those things wherethey don't make, it doesn't make sense at all, like they'd, never be a signthat that long yeah, that's what makes me laugh when I seeyou know those one giant hand comics or whatever yeah yeah. It is really goodhere. He does those. I think it's yeah kind of one of those like not that theydid it too much, but I think it's like one of those simpsons tropes that justembedded in everyone in our generation's brain yeah, that's true.It's like things, things being a little bit too wordy and unnecessary, and aretail setting hyeah. Those are great man. The Simpsons really taught usthose things. They really broke a lot of boundariesin that way, and it's weird that they were never rude. There's never ye,hardly ever it's so crazy. How the like, because we've we've both beenlistening to that kind of O'Brian, podcast and stuff. It's so funny to methat, like the simpsons is all like these Harvard guys, you know it's likeit's all people come from the the Harvard Lampoon magazine and thenthat's kind of how most of the culture and the Simpson started. It's like sucha yeah. I'm o obsessed with that like because it's the same in England withthe the Oxford footlights, like the sketchreview, show and stuff like that, where, yes, where all the like Steven, friand,Hul Lari and all these people got started, but so like. If you thinkabout the way you and I got into comedy, you think about the idea of being a kid who wants to start incomedy and being like all right step. One get into the world's mostprestigious university: that's the only way to do it, so I tip to do thedumbest thing you could ever do at the old mis prestigious university. Follow yeah, like you got a hake, the biggestcareer base risk of your life yeah. You got to do four years at Harvard andthen you're in a riding room going like all right, so we got bony gumble. Whatif he does a big book? Is that good, yeah yeah it those years at Harvardhave paid off big time. You got the goods yeah yeah. I go. I go to another one, but I don't.This is very simpsons sure I flatman said this. This is very simpsons, shows a kid getting a my little ponyfor or a toy like that for her birthday, and then it says on the packet. She comes from a magical land.

This pony comes from magical land, she was made from fairies and there arehuge mushrooms as trees and everywhere, there's candy orsomething like that, and then it just cuts to a guy in afactory putting the legs into the into the my little pony, like on a conveyorbelt, yea to say to himself this joke sucks like that's it yeah yeah, yeah, it'sgood. Where else you could go with that, it kind of came from my my personal experience as a child, andI think you've told it. I've told you this before. I think that when I was akid I would go to town, maybe once everycouple of months of cause town was about an hour away, so it was a bigtree to go to town. You know, maybe even once, every three months of yeah,whatever six months to go to town but mom sometimes willbring back donuts and I just thought donut to made in this magical land bylike a yeah by like a prince or something, and then I remember our mom took me totown once he said little kids and money go get some doughnuts and I went- and Isaw this fucking just the most. You know a guy who hated his job. I've never met.I seen a more depressed person behind this counter and just squirting thedough on to the convey belt, then lowering it into the to the frying oil and just watching it go, and I justjust my heart broke as a child. Just like a that's such a yeah. That's such amoment. I think every one has that in some some version of like satin yeah, like Ithink that's differently, there's definitely a lot of like TV. I thinkthe everyone imagines TV is like this magical. You know world of kind of old, Timey,entertainment and show business. A just wear dreams happen, and then it's like.I mean I've had a very limited like window and TV writing and stuff, but itis just like an office of you know. It's just like yeah theoffice, just like people are real depressed on Monday mornings. Yahyahgot to do the shit again so yeady. What do you think about this? Just like whocares shut out yet do anything when you go with it, go to the sedie filming and it's allthe like lighting people and the camera people go like this again m same sameshit. Yeah, that's exactly it mean yeah!That's the that's like when I was a laborer and we used to build thesemulti million dollar houses in Sydney. You know it's just like these crazyhouses made out of glass. You know the ones that are all made out of glass andyeah. It was still all bogans from from and tradesmen from every part ofSydney going yeah. Well, you know these fucking rich bastards. They got to putthe fucking glass. He you know s pullin still made you think thosehouses are made by people in suits yeah and they just like yeah, like they fly in yeah, guys fromSweden wearing turtle neck, and yet those are from scratch like there's. No,no machines are used because to look with their bare hands, theynever touch anything they just levitate yeah, they just liver. Take the thigs,a good yeah, I don't know yeah. You just think that they could be somethingfunny where it's like an ad for a building company. But their point ofdifference is that they're, the only building company it'll, be we guaranteethis will be made by men who don't hate. You yeah goes through all the othertradesmen and stuff they like fucking, millionaire pricks. We Guarantee S it's a bit of extramoney, but all our labors will speak...

...kindly of you when they hammering inthe foundations of your harm, no mumbling on site yea, absolutely nomumbling, it's a mumble for his own, that's great tuts to like someone yeah someone's drilling something ingoing like this is a smart time to build a house in this property market,good job, yeah, yeah. So man, I saw you release the theSIS video we talked about in a past episode, Yeh can came to my house and that's good. Itwas great real good yeah. I think it was got a pretty good response. I thoughtdidn't set the world on fire, but it was good to people seem to like it. Igot A. I got a message from a comedy friend saying how good they thought itwas, which is always always nice. You know anyone right us to like button,but getting the message. You know a something I didn't send you a message.I'm sorry, but I I've been stewing about that for days, but no, it's good. It's like yeah. You know talking about puttingour videos and stuff. It feels like, like you back, to doing open, Mikes andstuff. It's good to just get get a few out there yeah we tomorrow about about the Pelican, encloser andMelbourne Zoo. It's one of my oh great, older bits that I always loved that Icould never quite get to work and I was thought. Maybe the problem is thataudiences are too fucking stupid to get my Pelican joke and the Internet iswhere it can work. Oh Yeah! I forget this one. I remember you had anotherjoke man where you talked about where you asked a question at a have a zoo once you asked a question or was it thePelican joke? Oh I did. That was oh. I can't remember. There was one ofmy favorite Jack drew stories. You were a young kid. Oh Yeah! Oh that's right!I had so. This was when I was like a really little kid. It would have beenlike seven or eight or something I was back in Canada and I was at theVancouver Aquarium and you know when you're a kid you don't you don't reallyknow what jobs are or careers are anything. So you kind of plan out whatyou want to do with your life. But, like you, don't based on nothing likeyeah, you don't know anything about anything. You just have a vague idea ofwhat might work for you and what I thought would be good was I knew thatpeople liked drink and milk, and I know that milk came from cows, but I alsoyou know, there's like so many other animals and cows and not just the yeah.This is the biggest gap in the market that no one's figured out that youshould just be getting milk from other good animals yeah. So I had this ideathat, because I also love nature, documentaries and scuba, diving andstuff, so I thought, when I grow up I'll, be like a scuba diver, but I'llgo and I'll go on milk whales instead of milk and cows and then I'll. So so.Okay, yeah. That was my big plan when I was a little kid, so it's so yeah we're at VancouverAquarium and this person did a like a big talk aboutthe whales and then they said any questions and I stood up and yeah. Iwould have been like seven years old or something, and I said what percentage fat is whale milk,because I know people like Um like skim milk, he yeah it so good seat is, and you wasseven yeah I would have been at the first in the person did not knowthey're just blanked on me. They're, like I don't know it's so good. That isgreat. I love. I love that and that just shows, because I didn't giveenough gratitude as well, to you being...

...seven and thinking that was going to bea business that you sell whale milk. It just shows that your intelligence isfar beyond like. If I like, if my kid told me that at the age of seven Iwould I would be scared of them, send them away. You know what would I would start doingthat thing like you know, what's that movie, where the kids really smart andis an alien and someone's going to protect the kid in one of those movies yeah, I don'tknow, I think I've used my intelligence in the stupidest way, though you know,if you look at that that kid it's like the right set of factors, you're likeOh, that could go be the next Ilon Musk or something he's always alreadylooking for gaps in the market and try to predict future technologies andstuff. This kid's going to be a billionaire and that's like cut toalmost thirty years later, and it was like me trying to you know I gin I'm goingto write that down afterwards as like. Oh maybe I can do a flog about that orsomething you know: Yeah Yeah Yeah, the the only funny I was thinking aboutthese. I think the thing I've talked to you about it was the only good aquariumthing I have. I remember this is a little kid just we, you know. As I saidbefore, we never went to the city, and I remember I can't remember where wewent to an aquarium and we saw the shark tank. It was his big shark tankthat was outside and he could look through. The glass see the Shark and somehow we deviated from the tour.I think there was a person taking us on a tour around it or something Y. Ah, inmy family, always must have been like four or five e were all from thecountry, and I said what, if we just walk up this ladder, I said to dad: Whydon't we walk up this ladder on top of the shark tank and then we all justwalked up on top of the ladder, and then there was just a pool that we could have easily walkin intowithout a rail is the poor way we could have walked into the shark tank, andthen we just stood there and watched them swim round and round, and me thinking just imagine a familyof five and I'm pretty sure my sister would have been like one yeah juststaring just on this yeah. That's so funny yeah, just it's likeyeah t the fact that it was just laid out like that, but then also the factthat your family, just you know, went with you straight away with your fouryear old. Yes, I or making it let's go to Odera. Let's go up the letter, that's great! It be so good, like allthe rest of the people from back home hearing about it on the news and likewhat a or of bad, I don't know like stereotypeit put out from people from the country and stuff or it's just like country,family, the one that's into shock tank, I just a die in the most unnecessary insane waypossible. This is why country people shouldn'ttravel too curious, no boundaries, yeah man, look around socks yeah, so many good. Just so many greatthings like that, but yeah man look I'd, probably go to gosoon, but if you got any more creative yeah, that's all good. That was a terrific cat up man, yeahgreat catch up and look. As we said before, we got a facebook group. If you want to we do if you got any good any things you wanted totalk about any bits that you think that are good, that you could give us liketips on. I mean we're not going to take any notice of those we're qualified.You are just listeners. Your fools. You are absolute amateurs when it comes tocomedy, but we will you know hume, you by going a yeah call thanks for the tip, absolutely and yeah. If you, if youwere enjoying this,...

...you know anyone else, you think mightenjoy it. Let him know spread the word Yeah Yeah. Also you go to a great newsletter man, you said he, Oh yeah, a facebo page. The Jack Druce news laterjoined that it's so good. I read every week. Oh thanks Mann yeah, it's likethe e'e doing it a lot more consistently since gigs have been offso yeah. The lick to that is, I think in my twitter, so yeah. If you want to read that that'llbe awesome, great work, mate. Well, this has been aact. This has been such a fun Catcher, it's good. It's like it's back to itsit's roots of US legitimately needing to catch up again yeah. We do it soyeah t.

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